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An Engaged Father Matters



This Father’s Day, remember to celebrate your father and all the men who have been father-like figures in your life. Think about it – many men are fathers to children they have adopted.

Men marry women who have children and treat them as their own. Men father children because their parents died. Men who are coaches often become father figures for children. Men who mentor also become fathers to children. No matter how they became fathers, we must never forget how important they are to the children they take the responsibility to raise.

I want to highlight the importance of the African American fathers, who are historically labeled as absentee parents or dead-beat dads. According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2011), one out of three American children live in biological father-absent homes. In other words, the African American father is not the only race of men who don’t live with their children in the same house.

A study conducted by the National Fatherhood Academy found that many fathers who don’t live in the home with their children are still financial providers and protectors of their children from harm and danger. They are teachers who prepare their children to enter the world with confidence and fathers who provide a nurturing environment that gives love and stability to their children. These men are single parents, ex-convicts, former addicts, businessmen, and happily married men with well-paying careers.

It is important to remember the pressure society places on African American men regardless of their educational background, marital status, or economic stability. Consider these facts:

  • 74 percent of Black men say that being married is important, compared with 79 percent of White men.
  • 35 percent of Black adult men are married, compared with 30 percent of white men.
  • 49 percent of Black men have never been married compared with 30 percent of white men.
  • 10 percent of Black men are divorced, the same percentage as White men.
  • 6 percent of Black males are heads of household.
  • 17 percent of Black males live in single households without children.
  • 82 percent of Black men say that having children is important.
  • 89 percent of Black men say that being in a good romantic relationship is important.
  • 97 percent of Black men say that being close to their family is important.
  • 40 percent of Black men report that they have helped a friend or family member with child-care regularly, compared with 17 percent of White men who say the same.
  • 88 percent of Black men believe that racism is a problem in today’s society.
  • Black males are imprisoned at more than nine times the rate of White males.
  • 66 percent of Black men worry about not having enough money to pay their bills.
  • 64 percent of Black men report having loaned or given money to family or friends to help with expenses.
  • Black men (33 percent) are three times more likely to report having trouble paying their rent or mortgage than White men (11 percent).

African American men are often doing their best to be engaged fathers and husbands, but it’s not easy. Far too often, society judges the African American father with an unrealistic measurement standard. To say the least, to be an African American father is complicated. The National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (2012) gives us some excellent points to remember as we celebrate Father’s Day.

Accept the father where he is, not where you think he should be or where stereotypes may lead you.

Try your best not to be judgmental. Recognize your biases toward men with certain types of issues or circumstances. Remember, they are some child’s father.

It is the right of every child to be supported by both parents. Let every father know that they are important, needed, and necessary. Tell them “Happy Father’s Day” and mean it!

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